Revelation

After two, almost three bloody long years, we are finally getting it together. I have been waiting and waiting for certain things to happen before Shane and I can get on with our lives. We have certainly been through more than our share of hardships! We have come a long way since I arrived in Foremost with a U-Haul carrying all of my belongings and no place to call home. Yeah, I actually moved here with no place to live! I stayed with Shane’s mom for like a week before I even found an apartment.
 
There are things that I just do not know how to deal with though…like how am I supposed to reconcile these feelings of loss over not having children together?? Yes, I know we have cats together, but it is just not the same!!  I want to be able to share this experience with the one man who I know would make a great father, would never leave me, is so gentle and loving, not to mention hard-working, and the only person I would ever feel comfortable calling my soul mate. I am sad over this and I do not know how to be. I know, I know, change is hard for me, control freak that I am.
 
Anyhow, enough of that. I am proud of what we have accomplished since I arrived here with practically nothing. We have a beautiful, brand new house. I own a stable business, and Shane has a thriving construction company. We drive new vehicles and live an hour from the border and three cities.The kids are doing well and have many friends. It is much better for them here than in drug infested HP!! We have gotten to know each other in ways that would have taken years if all of the situations that came up had not happened. I guess what I am trying to say is I am again looking at what I have instead of what I do not have, or at what I believe is taking too long. I love Shane soooo much and he is so right for me! Also, I am glad that Shane’s kids are all sorted out…oooohhh I feel just a teensy bit of apprehension saying that…like I may jinx it or something!! We worked so hard to provide them with a stable home, especially when they were kept from him for so long. I just hope they can make it and learn from the values that we tried to instill in them when they were here with us. Next on Ronda’s conquer the world agenda: my degree, should I receive funding, that is.
 
 
 
 
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One thought on “Revelation

  1. Hmmm, I sounded guarded, even on here. Could it be from an encounter I have had recently? I need to write more. Where is my expressiveness, has it deserted me too?

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