The Group

I made a group on FB for Misty & the girls. I had to DO SOMETHING with all of the feeling that was rushing through me and threatening to drag me into complete and utter dispair.
It is going well, a lot of people have joined and I am so glad that her friends and family have a chance to express how much they miss her. I tried to post a copy of the slideshow on the group, but the person who made it did not use a workable format, even DivX cannot convert it! *frustrating* After some investigation I found that it was made this way so it can be played back through a regular DVD player, oh well. I guess I can make one or else try and copy it some other way…perhaps Wal-Mart?
Anyhow, until today I really only watched the thing once and that was by accident when my kids found it in my stuff. I was in a fog at the funeral and left the room everytime it played, and all I remember is it being pure torture! Today I just let it play. It really hurt to see the pictures and listen to the songs. I alternated between angry, desperate & overwhelmingly sad. ~My heart now hurts~ I mean literally. There’s a physical, aching pain in my chest, butterflies in my belly, and a breathless, panicky feeling accompanying all of this. Perhaps it was a mistake to watch it.

One thought on “The Group

  1. I am heartbroken, or maybe just broken. I do not know. Funny eh? After 3yrs I am still saying that…I Dont Know. I miss the girl who could tackle anything, who believed in herself, the girl who was so determined and willful. I have lost my will. I STILL have not found it and it is such a profound loss. I sort of feel like I am on the outside of my life looking in and the person I used to be is somehow disappointed in me. 😦


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