I GIVE UP

I give up…there it is. Plain and simple. I have no more try and I have no more do left. I guess I am at the crossroads once again….should I go left or right? Here’s to not knowing once again eh?? What was the point of all this? Was I stupid to believe that good things could just happen after all the hell I went through?….I guess I was.
 
I had one relationship where I was dominant and I was not truly in love with him….and he let me go. I know why now, he could not live that way anymore, especially after all that happened. Even though he did the most horrible thing a man could do to his family (that is, leave them alone in a strange town and completely destitute) let’s not demonize him here, there are two sides to every story, after all.
 
The other relationship was a real eye opener. I was, and still am crazy in love with this man. In the past two years we have been through more than most couples go through in ten years. I was willing to keep at it and work on it but there are things he just will not do! He does not love me the way I love him…..and why?? Is there something really wrong with me? Am I defective or in some way unattractive? That is the way I feel.
 
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2 thoughts on “I GIVE UP

  1. Sometimes you just gotta let emotion out …I know Shane loves me! I know times are hard and if we get through this next little while things will be better. I know he will not leave me and he would never hit me….he is not an alcoholic and does not do drugs. He believes in the same things I believe in and helps out when he can. I love him and I do not want to give up….I was having a bad day….looking down instead of up.

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  2. Yeah, looking back at this I realized that stress affects him sooo much differently than it affects me. I want to be held and told everything will be fine and he withdraws, we are still working on this, but the stress level has gone wayyy down.

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